ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
