He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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