I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
