You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
