Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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