Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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