Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
