Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
