You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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