Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
