Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
