yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
