I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
