Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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