the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
