u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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