Don't you send me to vm
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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