what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
