Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize