Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
