Slut skills are useful in every country.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
