Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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