I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
