As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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