she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
