If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
