Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
