just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize