im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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