I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
