Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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