Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
