Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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