I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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