I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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