Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
