dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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