Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize