guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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