I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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