Buhtt sex?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
