I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
