Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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