it hurts more in the daytime
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
