Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
