Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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