O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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