pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
