There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
