Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
