well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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