shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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