I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
