have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
