So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
