I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
