what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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