I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
