The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
