I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We need to get me chipped asap
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
