My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
