Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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